OK, so i didn’t tap on his window, that was for comic effect. However, I was held up so inconveniently as Jaques Chirac rushed through in his black motorcade with Met diplomatic protection squad officers in tow.

What a pain.

I was held up on The Plain roundabout and yet again on Parks Road. I wish those world leaders would just keep out the way, along with the film crews. I’m not sure which is worse, Harry Potter or Bill Clinton.

I was cycling in this morning, as you do, when this big limosine turns up flanked by police motorcycles. They stopped right in front of me and made me stop as well. So, I knocked on the window to tell the person inside what I thought of this and he wound down the window.

And guess who it was.

It was bloody Jaques Chirac!

I thought I’d give him a piece of my mind so I said to him, “Jaques”, well we’re on first name terms you see, I said “Jaques, what do you think you’re doing holding me up in the morning? You world leaders are all the bloody same, going around causing traffic jams without a thought for anyone else.”

Well, he didn’t say very much of course, he was too embarassed. So he just drove off and caused traffic jams down the road.