Having watched the first episode of the new series of Torchwood last night (after having my PVR watch it for me and remember it when it was broadcast) I was prompted to write a review. I had hoped that the new series would be better than the first….
Let’s say first and foremost, I was disappointed. I’m sorry but I can see very little in this programme to praise. Actually, the only part I CAN praise is the 30 second section pre-titles where an old lady stops at a zebra crossing and a humanoid alien with a fish-like head pulls up in an open topped sports car and she looks a little startled before the alien prompts her firmly if she’s going to cross. Even here the script writer drops the ball as after our heroes whisk off on their Range Rover the old lady exclaims “Typical Torchwood!” Excuse me, this is SUPPOSED to be a secret organisation and the members can’t even tell their families, which was a large part of the bac story for one of the characters in the first series, so how does this little old lady know?
There are numerous other plot holes, not that the plot is much cop either. Let’s say that it reminds me of an attempt at “fanfic.” That is a story written by a fan and posted on the net. They can be OK but many aren’t, and this story and dialog would definitely be in the latter category.
Now, for this series we have a new returning character played by James Masters, he played “Spike” in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” He plays an ex-colleague of Captain Jack, captain John Hart. can you guess what I’m going to say next? I’ll give you a clue shall I? This fanfic writer seems to like Buffy….
Oh! Surprise! Captain Hart is just like Spike! OK, he’s not vampiric but you wouldn’t know it.
And theres another thing…. I think that the writer might be gay. I haven’t a clue how i might have picked this up. Oh, maybe it was the fact that every main male character, except for the doctor, either snogged each other several times or agree to go out on a date with another one. How realistic is that? I have no qualms about there being one or two openly gay characters, but most of them?!
So, to sum up, this programme is an amaturish, gay fantasy fanfic attempt at a Dr Who/Buffy fusion and I dont see that the rest of the series is going to be any better. Oh, and the acting’s as wooden as in the last series as well.
I won’t be watching any further episodes, I’ve got better things to watch for 50 minutes. If the worst comes to the worst I could always paint something and watch it dry.
Do you get the feeling that I’m not a fan?